Cold Feet

You hear about getting cold feet all the time.
As the said date, event or expected outcome looms closer the thought of the repercussions of your decision becomes all the more real, scary and at the forefront of your mind.

Lately, I could say I have been feeling like this about my choice to move to the UK.

Is it the best choice for me? What if there is more to offer me here that I miss out on? I will be leaving everything I have so far worked hard for (or so it seems), What if I come home and have to start from the bottom again? What if it doesn’t work out? Will I waste all my hard earned savings? What if I hate it? Perhaps I don’t want to come back here when I return, then what? I will be leaving my puppy behind, I love her. I will have to give up my sponsorship – possible. I don’t want to lose all the effort from my training and competitions. Can I manage my CleanTreats page whilst I travel? What if my career suffers? I want to do my PT course, can I still do this?

But then I need to think as well;

I am only 21 (nearly 22), most people my age are still at UNI not thinking about their current career, they are thinking about building themselves for it, which is exactly what I will be doing if I get into the right job. It will be an amazing experience, filled with meeting new people and creating memories. I can always come back. I will still have my job when I return. I should comeback with knowledge. I can take a year or two off from training; allow a good recovery and improvements. I will get to see the world. I will regret it if I don’t.

Now, you can see why maybe I haven’t been sleeping to well?
It’s as my mind shuts off that all these thoughts and maybe more I haven’t mentioned fill my head. Not to mention other options that interests me.
Like, I don’t want to stay in Tasmania, is there more on offer for me in another state? Am I ready to make a move like that? Perhaps my expertise needs more refining first. Am I just impatient?

I think I can answer one of those, yes, I am a bit impatient.
But when you know what you want, it can be hard not to want it to happen now. And that is how I feel.
I want my competitions to happen now; I want to know how I will go. I want to see myself in ten years’ time, will I still be planning, in Tasmania, will I be a PT, will my CleanTreats have expanded? What will I have become?

The future can be scary, and I think it scares me a bit. I don’t want to fail.

But it’s the old expression, everything happens for a reason?

Let’s see how it unfolds.

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About nfrain

A passion for a healthy life, body and mind. A discussion of my experiences and thoughts with some tips and tricks along the way.
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