Yesterday I was exposed to a topic that often we do not discuss..
Have you ever been in a situation where something happens in our life where either said event or potential outcome, is the be all and end all? Where you find yourself consumed in the situation of question and nothing else matter anymore? Your head is filled with it, your focus is on nothing else, and you find every spare minute consumed by it? I think this happens to all of us, at some point. Perhaps you didn’t handle a situation well and so it plays on your mind for weeks at a time until the next all-consuming event creeps in. You might have an important meeting or opportunity and feel that failure is not an option, and so you find yourself consumed by ways of preventing that from happening.
You no longer drift off quickly to sleep, but instead find yourself laying wide awake, things ticking over in your head. I find myself doing this when I have a particularly busy schedule, as if laying in bed is cheating myself of getting the job done quicker.. When really it can’t be started until tomorrow anyway. It’s normal to do this over a new situation of event, but it can be taken to an all new level in some cases..
But it’s when people tell you to ‘just get over it’, ‘move on’ or ‘don’t stress’ that it can become worse. As if them mentioning it brings it all back to your attention again.
For some people, simply getting over it is not an option. For high stress, anxious people, they cannot simply switch off. It is all-consuming to them. Sometimes the situation itself can be small, but quickly snowballs into something bigger, until it was no longer the simple issue any more. In fact they may not even be sure what started it.
I never used to understand this.. To me I thought you can simply get over it. But in the last 12 months I have been exposed to a number of mental health issues (we often consider mental health in terms of sycosis, schizophrenia etc) from depression, anxiety, stress, they can result in anxiety attacks which can be described as a heart attack feeling, stress can lead to stress leave and a detrimental to affect on your health and immune system while depression can result as far as suicide to removal of yourself from society and even those you love.
Having been exposed to some of these areas it has shown me more and developed my understanding to realise that telling yourself to get over it, having people tell you to get over it and trying to ignore the issue, simply isn’t an option for said people. They may be fully aware of their overreaction, that the issue is not that big a deal, but they simply cannot change how they feel, think or respond to it..
from learning this, it has taught me a lot, made me realise how important it is to support these people, even just to do things with them to try to take their mind off it, listen if they want to be listened to and be a support to them.
Having said that it can be hard. You might want to tell them person to just get over it, it can feel a bit repetitive but you know this will not help. It can tire you out as much as it does them, but often they will tend not to notice. By having this understanding of the situation, what they are experiencing (besides the instigating situation) allows you to move past your urge to give up on them and not have heart, but wills you to have patients.
I don’t want to have to be their for my friends in that way, in fact I never want any of them to experience it, but I am glad I have the understanding to help them deal with it, and can only hope they would do the same.