This topic came to mind last night, after I was training with my training partner at the gym. A conversation came up about how a situation can appear to an outsider, how a situation can become completely warped from what it actually is, when you have no idea what is really going on.
Take for example when you walk into a conversation.. I call my treat bites ‘balls’ and I know I should probably change the name to something else, something more appropriate so what when someone comes up to me and says ‘I ate you balls’… it doesn’t sound quiet like what I’m sure your thinking right now, to an outside.. but I guess this can create a laugh and we all need more humour in our lives.
The initial scenario that brought up this topic was the fact that my training partner allows me to train with him as to do so, it is beneficial for me leading up to my comp, his training style is different to mine and I am pushed. But we train together, it’s not like a PT session. So when he has had a few other training partners in the same situation, other gym goers have started to ‘assume’ that he is ‘training’ us, hence, charging us for the sessions with him, as though we ‘book’ in to train with him. Now I, the other training partners and the gym we use, all know that this is not the case, we are all just members or casual members of the gym and train together as you would train with your sister, brother, friend or partner. But to the outsiders, they didn’t stop to question what was going on, they just assumed.
It’s funny this situation, being judged or having peoples opinions put forward to you. Often you will not discover someone’s opinion on you, or the topic in question until it might be to late to rectify it.
I once had someone apologise to me for ‘not liking me’ and once they actually got to know me they realised their opinion of me initially was completely incorrect (which was nice), They apologised for
bitching about me and not being nice to me. Believe it or not, I was completely shocked at the apology and in no way was I asking for one, I genuinely thought this person liked me, until they told me otherwise. At least in the end they gave me a chance and realised I wasn’t so bad, it is when people just make that opinion of you without knowing you, your situation or perhaps the bad day you had. I guess this is what happens to celebrities all the time…
Another example comes from my partner, and I love to cook, and he knows it is generally in his best interest to tell me everything is delicious, and he does a very good job at that. But sometimes a meal wont turn out just the way I like it, and I am well aware of that when it happens. but he smiles and says he likes it just the same…. until a week or two later, even a month when we are with friends or family and a topic comes up that somehow leads him to reminisce of that horrible meal he had that he apparently ‘loved’ a few weeks back.. am I that scary that he can’t tell me?.. maybe.. but I found out eventually.
Often all of these things, judgements and opinions happen after it is to late to change them, fix them or stop them. People will judge you every day from your new hair cut, what you dress, how tired you look, what mood you are in, how you respond to a question and everything above and beyond.
I could care about all the judgements I get, and sometimes I do, but I need to remind myself that there isn’t anything I can do about it, I can’t change everyone’s mind and make everyone like me, some of you might not even like the way I write, or what I write.. I will never please everyone.
And if I cared that much about others judging me.. then I’m afraid I may have chosen the wrong sport..