Finding what I lost

Today’s Prompt: Previously we wrote about losing something, now talk about finding something.

Well, a million things come to mind; That time I found my Christmas presents in the back of the car, when I found my missing clothes in my sisters wardrobe, finding out about the death of a loved one, a pregnancy, an engagement or divorce, finding some money on the sidewalk, finding someone’s possessions and making the decision to hand them in or keep walking, finding where I belong starting at a new school or workplace.

Recently though, and to tie it in with the concept of my blog theme; I lost Body fat percentage and in the last 12 weeks, I found it again!

Thankfully I only found part of it, and I am happy for the rest to remain lost.

Finding my BF again has had a mixed effect on what I do, wear, feel and think.

I train harder, the additional energy I have obtained from having more fuel in my body has been working wonders for me, and I love the feeling of strength that I get from this. I am lifting heavier and making my muscles ache after every session; just what my trainer ordered. I have more energy and while coming into winter can be a drag I can feel I still have that bounce in my step and I love that.

Okay, it has had a huge effect of what I wear. When I was dieting I was down to a size 6, sometimes a 4, that’s small! and when I was like this, to start with I refrained from buying new clothes, just in case I bounced back after the competition and needed my old clothes back! But I didn’t, I maintained my new-found size and so my wardrobe altered over the course of the year to suit my new shape. I bought new work clothes and jeans that fit. Now however, I have found my BF again, and since then while my body shape has changed, some things don’t fit quiet the same. I can now pop the button on my jeans on my non stretch work pants, the button-up shirts I used to wear, now perhaps a little to strained. My pencil work skirts, maybe hug me a little too much for comfort, and a shirt I put on the other day was now to tight over my shoulders. And so it has seen me wear some of my looser fit clothing, which luckily is in season. Not because I am worried about hiding my new-found friend that is my BF, but because I don’t want to buy yet another wardrobe, and as I commence my comp prep again I know I will get a use for all those clothes once more.

The effect on how I feel can change, depending on how I feel. Some mornings when I have been great with my diet I feel fine and I look at myself and I am happy with how I look. Other days, for example after a much deserved cheat meal, it tends to make me feel a little down on myself, as I feel the effects the cheat has had on my body. From sluggish and flat and a little bit queezy, I question why I did it in the first place. But that feeling soon passes, and I am pleased with myself as soon as I hit the gym and see the effects. The feelings change some days when I decide what to wear, as mentioned above clothes I used to fit into are now, just not quiet the same. I am still coming across some of these clothes and as I try on the brand new dress I bought for an occasion a few weeks ago to now find it now longer fits how I would like, I feel a little disheartened and wish what I wanted to achieve would not come at such a sacrifice, if only for the short-term. But I remind myself of my goal yet again and my spirits are lifted, it will all be worth it, and I know I am fit, happy and healthy right now.

It has also made me think more about all the stories I read of competitors post comp. Many of these, are talking ill of the whole dieting and training regime, and I don’t want it to come across that I am. For me to achieve my goal, finding my BF again was a must, I cannot gain in lean muscle mass without this extra fuel and with eating more will come more BF! To be honest I have loved being able to eat out and enjoy my own cooking such as my Peanut butter pie, ribs and homemade icecream. I can now understand why some people feel the way they do after a competition, lose control and blame the process, even if that hasn’t been the case for me. I do still think that it is important to accept and understand what is healthy, and for many this is their downfall .

So my finding has impacted me in a number of ways, and I have learnt from them all, although some a challenge.



About nfrain

A passion for a healthy life, body and mind. A discussion of my experiences and thoughts with some tips and tricks along the way.
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